I woke up on a fair-weathered day feeling happy about last night when suddenly I was tugged back to my usual habit of ostracizing the world and something was realized; nothing makes sense. I realized that I always try to keep up with life and not by following what I want. It pretty much frightened me more than all the horror movies I watched put together. How I love and hate my over analytical personality.

Now, here I am typing.

I write about what I thought things should work. Here, by the pressure-free confines of time, where words can be thrown freely, is  proof read by reinspecting and ensured by the ‘backspace’ button. I guess even though I know better, there is always this naked surrender that tells me it’s alright to spoil yourself once in a while, I’ll just stop when I get tired.

I don’t really have a point; rather, this is my attempt of understanding these general curiosities about life.  How spontaneous our universe works, how our minds tend to touch even the deepest, unbridled mysteries ever asked.

It’s like being back to the same classroom, the room where we argued about whether robots can take over humans. I was assigned to be the leader of the agreeing end. I debated them with colorful banters about how numerous brains of scientist were combined to create one artificial intelligence , and how the process argues its way to leave no doubt that robots can in fact, be better than humans. Of course, I was assigned to think that way. Thinking of what I said that day gave me this feeling of embarrassment to myself and everyone else. We won, I’m ashamed.  Ashamed to think mere bundles of electricity and by-product of human-playing-God people can replicate how we feel, the way we suffer, how we think, the way we act, much more,  be better than us. Yes, ‘better’ to each one’s opinion.

Too much thinking is like an inward explosion, it damages someone in largest proportions imaginable,

Although, I must admit, there’s pleasure.

It was morning.

I peeled my eyes open, brushed my teeth, took a bath, smiled to a cat, (I specifically remembered to follow someone’s advice of treating animals as if they had been people) looked for my breakfast, spotted my breakfast only to see that it was ruined..by a cat, gave a mighty kick to a feline friend, trashed talk everything that comes into contact, cursed some more, remembered it was my birthday.

I immediately turned to my brother to ask for something, ANYthing, that suggests fine dining. It’s for anyone who would be, by any chance, crazy enough to stop by and share the joy and miracle of me being born. We bought more than enough amount of food, I mean plenty for three grown ogres. I think it was somewhere between arguing for palabok or spaghetti, a growling stomache, the high pitched voice of a sister, and numerous requests from family, neighbors (and strangers??) that something was carried away. The day redefined chaos, everything from mosquitoes wrecking havoc in the house to the stupid ‘Careless Whisper’ song playing all day which almost drove me to multiple cases of murder. Don’t even get me started about the muddy state of our happy street. After everyone’s fill was satisfied, I plopped down long enough to recharge myself for our night swimming.

The swimming was very enjoyable, given that it rained so hard. I t was almost like torrents from a cool waterfalls. It was really great. We planned an overnight. I didn’t get enough rest for the next day because I had to take care of some boring stuff that I will not care to enumerate.

The following day.

I truly enjoyed the night together with my friends. If I had a pre last year then here is my post-birthday. We first went to the premiere of the movie ‘Drag me to hell’. It was a nice suspense movie collaborated by hysterically amusing scenes, a man in possession of a demonic spirit went prancing like a maniac on a Saturday night circus, plus, the explicit hardcore violence came too overboard, computer graphics was seriously abused.  I think it got the reaction it’s supposed to have, yah, judging from a cowering friend beside me. They gave me a compass as a gift; I think it is going to be my best companion once I brave the streets outside the comforts of my house. Of course, it was dark after the movie, so we decided to go to an entertainment bar the name of which escapes me..Most I can remember was that it offered some superfine beer promo.. dunno, I forgot. Well, it was a blast going to that bar. The singers were doing their job of keeping our asses entertained, forgive my french.  After a couple of drinks and tons of cheerful chatter, we wrapped up the night.  Before crashing to bed, I promised to do this one thing; go read a blog, which was a right choice. The entry was all too moving. My friend created a whole new level for the word ‘thoughtfulness’. I had a great day.

Happy 19^th to me.

After months of total disarray, I finally found a free time (free time = tiny intervals between sleeping, yapping/gawking at dinner parties and eating) to get a hold of everything, and put it into writing. Breaking down the day’s happenings is a major pain in the...unless something interesting happens.

So today I went at Wal-Mart, and oh yeah..here’s a minor newsflash; the store I work at went out of business. I don‘t know why but the company said something about economizing the smallest stores--I personally suspect those ‘pimped’ psycho stuffed butterball turkeys  were responsible for the tragedy--may their scorched carcass serve as a lesson to coworkers who doesn’t respect holiday finger foods. Ugh, mindless coworkers who make you doubt about purity and decency. It wont surprise me if they were heavily institutionalized when they were children, those sick sons of a b—sorry. I really have a small fuse when it comes to shameless bast—I’ll stop. Talking smack won’t exorcise their evil; in fact, they might be terrorizing another rejected turkey (or poultry of the same nature) at this very moment while I go flood my blog about endless righteousness…I tried persuading Dad to sign me to one of those anger management classes for the sake of the many souls I will eventually meet. Pft. He lectured me again about wasting money into little unnecessary impulses. Oh yeah sure, I get it, if impulses were recently REdefined as cure to a severe blow of mental damage!  The request didn’t work, obviously. And, for the record (although I really hate using the stupid  ‘for the record’ phrase..I know I’m a trainwreck) I’m not referring about my coworkers when I said I need the damn classes, not that I’m so affected by a mere handful of lazy animals! Hah. The second sentence clearly specified about my problem in---STOP!!Oh Lord. What am I turning into? What the eff…ahaha…”EFF”. ..another brilliant contribution into turning this generation’s brains into jell-o. I literally sensed my brain short-circuited. I feel so sorry to anyone who will mistakenly stumble into this page. Actually, I’m not like this, this is just a one-time attack provoked by lack of sleep, which reminds me..I better go blog about whatever I was on about earlier,  but  it’s not like I’m all defensive that I feel the need of explaining myself here..Eighteen years of joyful existence were working against me--especially if you had the luckiest of luck into making acquaintances with jer---OKAY! Goodnight.

P.S. I’ll just write the story tomorrow after proper hygiene and breakfast OR next free time…oh, what bliss.

I was awakened by my dad’s usual breakfast noise and found myself on a heap of garbage. As he head for work, he looked back at me, shook his head and said ‘maglinis ka naman.’ Me, blessed with an auto-retort function, held myself for once, cracked a smile and nodded. What a sunshine of a day. Fine, to save myself from my usual pondering of how the world sucks and keep everyone from reading another arguably flawed drama, I decided the inevitable, renovate-cleaning. So today, I changed the bedsheets, washed dishes (dishwasher got fixed! Boy am I glad) vacuumed and steamed the carpets, peeled thick layers of dust on every surface, did the laundry, mowed the lawn (not really…I’ll just mind-trim it for memory’s sake) washed my car because the blasted neighbor's cat left dirty pawprints and its not-so-appreciated ‘souvenirs’ at the back window (and I might vacuum the inside too). I sorted the DVDs, stacked the mini library alphabetically, boxed unused consoles (for a while) decided to leave the magic mic alone (just in case), and I sprayed every room with an air freshener that highly emphasized a breath of fresh air!

Surely, dear Dad, would think again whenever he accuses someone of being lazy…hmp! wait till he gets home and had that breath of fresh air.

And now, excuse me for I must retire to a newly steamed living room and have a cocktail or two OR we'll order something good. Acrobatic cleaning sure is worth all the bending.

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I ordered pizza earlier. It really ruined my mood because I was expecting a nice treat. I hate thinking about giving away money and feeling ripped off at the end. So i wrote pizza hut a comment on their site. I mean, it upsets me to burn my hard earned cash. dont get me wrong.

 Today was supposedly another ordinary day. I woke up and searched for something to complain about. Earlier today was so boring that I even lost the will to....I forgot already what. Anyway, I hated it whenever it gets so cold around our area. It's freezing to the point that you have to wear multiple layers of clothing to feel what's left of your body heat. And then there's laundry too. The lower the temperature the higher is your laundry.

And what's up with Netflix???? (It's some kind of an online DVD rental company, ALL movies are in there) It had been three days and still no DVD in the mailbox. I called them, then sweet John The Operator answered.

What I like about these operators is that they are real patient while dealing with the troubled customers calling them. Can't imagine myself assuring someone that the problem will be fixed, a 'too angry for reasons' someone. Well, for my side, sometimes when you had a bad day and the only comfort comes from people's scripted drama which is deprived to you anyway. The person you'll complain to would wish he took the slip to the bathroom earlier as a bad sign and called in sick for work. I asked him to personally attend the matter at hand because I wouldn't burn my ten dollars a month just for their inconvenient delays. I even said that this better be the one time I had to call to them. I threatened to refuse to be charged if I dont get my DVD NOW, as in now(don't know what the heck I ate earlier to be so cranky...definitely the chowder's fault). He replied a polite excuse to see the problem, so politely that'll make you singsong 'ok' back at him. So then he left me listening to this aggravating instrumental music on the line. When he got back, he told me that he put me on top of the delivery recipients so that I wouldn't have to worry for any unnecessary wait. I thanked him and he said a welcome and a pardon for the lag followed by his hope of me having a nice day. He sounded so sincere (I guess so, maybe he's used to it??fantastic. shame on me.) I told him he had been a patient helper and I deeply appreciate the signatured service I received. I reported a lenghty positive feedback at their site too reffering to a man named 'John'. I wrote a bunch of good things that would surely secure good ol' John a pat on the back. It's a way to appease myself so I wouldn't collect regret in my memory. I'm probably his 20th crazy customer and his calming medicine had finally kicked in or maybe he's being professional, but, 'practiced sincerity' or not, I don't care, he deserves a decent thanks.

It was after I hung up the phone that I had this unusual surge of energy to do laundry, and hey, I even pressed clothes today! I guess each day is a lesson, today, at least.

So...I'm now going to watch the DVD here on my lap, thanks to John.

(Imagine if he didn't fix the issue

~beethoven's 9th symphony~

but let's not worry about that. )

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by the way, here's my second attempt to read a piano sheet.. it's a bit lacking in tempo but...here we are. It's Fur Elise by Beethoven.